To do:

I have one week to:

[X] Officially have a freakout.
[] Finish a LARGE painting.
[] Pack... and make sure I have what I need for a month.
[] Come up with a costume that needs to be packed.
[] Mentally, emotionally, and spiritually prepare for Poland.
[] Get the $850 needed for room and board and another suggested couple hundred for accidentals.

Good thing God's got this.

9 days left.

I thought I'd write more. I don't know why I did... I never do.

9 days left.
$850 to go, but I am debt free!!!!
Praise God for that and praise Him for the extended period of faith stretching. :)
I haven't started packing yet.
I have started a couple panic sessions.
But I've also done pretty good at calming down... or maybe just ignoring certain thoughts. Does that count?

Part of me is so ready to go.
* I have no job, so no responsibility in that sense
* I have no debt, so I need no job for right now
* I am craving adventure and stories
* I feel that this is a beginning... that when I return, I'm not returning to the same. (exciting!)

Part of me doesn't want to go at all.
* I have slight fear of the unknown
* I feel that this is a beginning... that when I return, I'm not returning to the same. (I was just getting to like somethings)

Obviously, I want to go way more than I want to stay, even if I don't feel it at the moment.
Anyways, beyond a very large act of God, there's no way I'm not going. I have my ticket paid for, so even if I don't leave with the money I'm going to arrive with the money.

"To be willing to make a mistake is an act of profound trust." - Erik Gullen

The above quote has been heart calmer for me. Mostly because I'm at an age where I can make mistakes, and I've got a God who'll take care of me... let me deal with consequences, but will take care of me. That's good to know.